I'm ungrateful. Ondankbaar. Beauty has become ugly and I can find fault (with a flick of my finger) just like that. Its on my face, its in my veins, thumping like sin. Ungratefulness. Unthankful. Sin.
After counting gifts for how long... 2 years maybe... a bad habit formed and ugly stuck its head out and ungratefulness and complaining started to fill my days.
I am a grateful person don't get me wrong but giving thanks in my head here and there and forgetting to pause and really give thanks on paper is were things went wrong. Suddenly I'm misplacing my little booklet, and then a week or two goes by without putting thanks on paper. Before I know it I'm complaining about sea sand on my floor instead of saying thank You Lord for sea sand and wind and out and playing and being together!
Yes yes yes we do give thanks, but there is just something about pausing and giving Thanks to Him in black on white were I can look back and see page after page of His open hands giving gift upon gift upon gift and seeing His faithfulness day after day...
I need to give a thousand thanks again and see one thousand gifts and I need to say Eucharisteo to find charis JOY again.
I've started over
#1 Thank You Lord for a new booklet
#2 Thank You Lord for praying with my daughter about a relationship full of ugly
#3 Thank You Lord for a microwave oven (someone else's) and an easy chocolate cake
#4 Thank You Lord for being able to take care of a feverish child
I know God can turn ugly into beautiful again... through Eucharisteo, gift upon gift, miracle upon miracle.
Have you ever counted gifts? Ever counted to one thousand? Please join me as I count again...